Counterfeit Emotions
by LPphreek
Summary: Dr. Gero took an integral part of Android 18's humanity when he created her: emotions. No longer able to feel them as a human would, Krillin teaches her that some feelings are deeper and don't have to be faked. K/18.
1. Anger and Gratitude

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor will I ever, own DBZ. It belongs to Akira Toriyama.

Anger and Gratitude

Anger (n.) - 1: a strong feeling of displeasure and usu. of antagonism; 2: rage

Gratitude (n.) – the state of being grateful; thankfulness.

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><p>I crack my eyes open as the light of dawn filters in the window of my bedroom. The early gray light reveals the form of a short man lying next to me. His head, once bald and shiny, is covered in a short layer of black fuzz, its texture not unlike a tennis ball. I stare at the sleeping man, wondering as I did every morning how I came to be with him. It was illogical, irrational. But for some reason, I never doubted the rightness of my decision to be with him. There was something about him…<p>

Did he make me happy? Sometimes I think so. Other times I'm not so sure. What, exactly, is happiness? I'm sure I used to know. Emotions are foreign to me. I hardly know the difference between joy and anger; both are powerful emotions that try to sway my unwavering rationality. I can't feel them anyway, for the most part. Maybe I used to, back when I was still fully human. Before I was kidnapped and turned into an android by Dr. Gero. I can't remember what it was like to be human anymore. Those memories were either wiped out completely or made inaccessible. It doesn't matter anyway. I live in the here and now. And now, I can't feel emotions because Dr. Gero implanted a device in my brain to suppress my human emotions. When the chemicals in my brain start acting up, it exerts its power over my organic brain, returning me to mechanical stoicism and apathy.

That doesn't mean to say that I don't feel emotions _at all_. No, I feel them for a fraction of a second and then they're gone. It's during that brief time that I am able to figure out what emotion I _should_ be feeling in response to a particular stimulus. That's how I know what emotion to fake. Counterfeit emotions, that's all I have. I recognize what emotion I _would_ have if it weren't for that infernal device, and then I copy the behavior expected to result from whatever that emotion is. It's mostly effective. I've been able to fool the humans around me into believing I can experience genuine emotions. But I can't. Frustrating as this can be, I have learned that there are some things humans call emotions that are actually much deeper than frivolous emotions. I know, because I have learned these things – and I don't have to fake them.

It's hard to pin down the exact time and place where I started having a sort of attraction to my husband. He told me the moment he started having feelings for me was after I fought with Vegeta on the deserted road shortly after my brother and I were activated. I didn't kill his friends, and then I kissed his cheek. I still don't know why I ever did that, but I suppose, in a way, it was a good thing I did. Who knows what would have happened had I not? Would he have been willing to deactivate and destroy me before Cell could absorb me? If not, would he have been willing to save me after Cell regurgitated me? Would he have wished for the explosives in my body to be taken away by the eternal dragon? Would he have ever pursued me?

The best conclusion I've come up with is that I started becoming attracted to him when he took me to the Lookout after the Cell Games.

…

He was so innocent and naïve. As soon as she woke up she was immediately on the defensive, surrounded by all the Earth's warriors who were equally distrusting of her. She was frantically trying to figure out how it was that she was still alive. The last thing she remembered was being sucked into that monster's…she doesn't want to think about it. Then, lo and behold, she's alive and well in some place she didn't recognize with the short, bald man hovering over her with concern etched clearly on his face. She resented his concern.

Confusion was her first reaction. After waking up, surrounded by hostile warriors in unfamiliar territory, she leaped to her feet ready to defend herself, all the while searching through her memory bank to figure out what was going on. Then they explained it to her: Cell was dead, killed by Gohan. Then she learned that the bald man – Krillin – had a 'crush' on her. A crush? Really? He didn't even know her! That was when she felt the stirrings of anger for a split second. She could feel the emotion being triggered before it was blocked like always. Trusting her human instinct, she went with it.

"Expect me to fall at your feet now? _Big_, strong boy rescues me so I'm his forever, right? Not that easy. I was wrong about you, Krillin," she shouted amongst the outbursts of his stupid friends. She knew she would have been furious had she still been connected with her emotions. She was always independent. She didn't ever want anyone to 'rescue' her and she hated chivalry and benevolent sexism. She honestly thought he only did it so she would fall in love with him. She thought he was a pathetic fool.

Acting on the emotion she didn't feel, she turned and left. She was flying down from the Lookout when the sky turned pitch black and a light shaped like a snake coiled through the sky. She had never seen anything like that before. Deciding to investigate, she went back to the Lookout and hid behind a pillar of the palace while she observed what the group of people there were doing. Her anger was temporarily forgotten, instead replaced by amazement when she saw the lavender-haired boy come to life after they wished for all the people Cell killed to be brought back to life. It was impossible! She was frozen in place. She had to see what would happen next as they tried to figure out a way to bring Goku back as well.

The dragon was getting rather impatient as they tried to think of a wish after Goku told them he didn't want to be brought back. Had he been a fire-breathing dragon she was sure he would have incinerated them by that point.

But then Krillin spoke up. "I'd like you to change Android 17 and 18 into human beings so they can live their lives in peace."

The dragon was silent for a moment that seemed to stretch for hours, then told him, "That wish cannot be granted now. It is beyond my power to do so."

She wondered what he was doing. There was no reason for him to make a wish like that.

"I have one more wish. Could you take the explosives out of the androids' bodies? That shouldn't be too hard, right?"

"I can. There, it has been done."

She felt different. Not bad, just…strange. As if a part of her was missing, but it wasn't a part that she really needed – or wanted – anyway. She didn't know what to make of it. Was the explosive really gone that easily? Was she that much closer to being human again? She heard the others talking and tried to overhear what they were saying.

"Dr. Gero's the one that made her into an android. She hasn't done anything wrong!" Krillin told them.

She felt the briefest stirrings of anger again, but instead of it being instantly repressed by the device installed in her brain, she was overcome with something deeper than an emotion, something that couldn't be repressed by any machine in her body. She felt…grateful. It was something she hadn't felt in a very long time because, frankly, it had been a very long time since she had had anything to be grateful for. But here was a man, a man who she had basically rejected only minutes earlier, giving up a wish for _anything_ to help _her._ It was unbelievable.

They asked him why he wished to bring Seventeen back too. Krillin answered that he wanted her to be truly happy, and she would be happy with Seventeen because he thought he was her boyfriend. She scoffed. Her _boyfriend_? The split-second feeling of anger arose again.

"Hey, bonehead! Seventeen is my twin brother!" she yelled over to them. It was satisfying to see Krillin's surprise and embarrassment flushing his cheeks as he mumbled something incoherent.

"No, this is excellent, you dope. That guy's her twin brother!" Yamcha cheered.

"I wouldn't celebrate if I were you! If you think you've won my heart because of that stupid wish, you're mistaken. I didn't ask for your help!" She turned to leave, then glanced over her shoulder as she continued in a softer tone, "But, it was really nice of you."

Krillin gaped at her. "It was? You mean you're not mad at me?"

Shouldn't she be? "Not really, no."

"Oh, then would you like to come over and join us?"

"No thanks," she answered before flying off the Lookout again. She didn't think she should be angry with him anymore. If she was capable of being grateful for what he had done for her, then it was surely inappropriate to also act angry. She got her bonus points by pointing out that he thought Seventeen and she were a couple. How absurd.

They may have turned out to be nice people, but she didn't want to be around them. She didn't really know them, and anyway, she wanted to be by herself for a while. She finally had her freedom since Dr. Gero was dead. Cell wasn't out there hunting her down to absorb her anymore. So…what was there for her? She couldn't return to her old life even if she could remember what that life was. And she had no idea where Seventeen was. Who else was there for her to turn to? She had nothing. No one. It was an unwelcome realization.

She felt the beginning of anger again as she landed in a peaceful meadow. Tall grass, wildflowers, the buzzing of insects flitting through the scratchy blades, it should have awakened a sense of peace or enjoyment. But she wanted to destroy all of it, to express the anger she should have felt. She was empty inside, and that was more frustrating than anything. She wanted to feel something authentic. She wanted to be human again. She wanted more than anything for the dragon to have been able to grant Krillin's first wish. Why couldn't she be human again? Why would she forever be the android that that monster Gero created her to be? Why was she stolen from her old life, never to live normally again? Krillin wanted her and Seventeen to be able to live in peace. That would be possible, but couldn't she live _normally_? Like a human? There was no way. She had no identity anymore aside from the one given to her by her insidious creator.

Instead of feeling the anger she thought she was justified to feel, all she had were these questions swimming through her mind. Her life was stolen from her and now she would never die, and she couldn't even be a little upset about it! She felt a tinge of despair before it was squelched by the emotion-inhibitor. Then she felt another brief pang of anger when she couldn't even wallow in self-pity over her existence. Clenching her petite hands into fists, she flew over the field and threw a glowing ball of hot pink energy into the center of the serene pasture. One might have thought she simply did it for the sheer destruction since she wasn't angry about anything. But she _should_ have been angry, and that was why she lashed out at nature. She was unnatural, some sort of abomination, and she wanted to be angry about it! She tried hard to force herself to feel the emotion, but it wouldn't come, or if it did it was immediately taken away from her. The unfairness of it would have been infuriating if she could stay mad.

Despite the destruction, she stayed in the pasture for days, continuously mulling over her poor lot in life. Anger and other emotions would come and go quicker than she could latch on to them and feel. All she wanted was to figure out where to go from there. She had no idea where her brother was and she didn't know a single thing about her former life as a human, not even her real name.

Then one late, dreary afternoon, she looked up in the rainy sky and saw a small figure hovering above the pasture, apparently unable to decide if it wanted to come closer or flee. Eventually it decided to approach, as it dropped out of the sky several yards away. Without the rain splattering on her optic sensors, she could now see clearly that it was Krillin who had come. Had he been searching for her or did he just happen to stumble upon her? She figured it didn't really matter _why_ he had come. What was important was the fact that he had.

She slicked back her wet, muddy hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears, trying to be somewhat inviting rather than shunning him as she had before. The small gesture must have been effective because he took a few quick, hesitant steps forward before pulling a backpack off his shoulders she hadn't noticed. From it he pulled a fluffy white towel and a thick wool blanket. He handed the first to her and watched silently as she accepted it and wiped the rain from her face and squeezed her hair with it. Seconds later she was wet again and the towel was saturated with water, but she felt that odd thing again: gratitude. There was no question about it, he had come in search of her. Maybe he had already known where she was, already knew what to bring to make her more comfortable.

"Thanks."

He shuffled his feet nervously, taking the soggy towel back from her. "Would you like to come with me? To, you know, get out of the rain…"

She stood up, her shoes sliding a little in the mud. Looking down at herself, she realized how soaked through her clothes were. They clung to her skin and the rain dripped off them; her shirt and jeans were already so wet the water couldn't sink in. She nodded. "Okay."

"Here," he said, handing her the warm blanket to wrap up in. "I thought you might be cold."

She wasn't cold. Since being transformed into an android, she had a built-in heating mechanism. Temperature no longer affected her. But he didn't need to know that. With a small smile expressing her lingering gratitude, she took the blanket from him and wrapped it around her shoulders. As he took to the air, waiting for her to follow, she wondered why he was going out of his way to be kind to her. She hadn't shown any interest in him at the Lookout days earlier. Was it because of that silly kiss she gave him on the road in the mountains? She had only been toying with him. They didn't talk as they flew away, soon making it out of the rainstorm. The sun beat down on their backs as they continued on, warming them.

An hour later, they reached the ocean. The blue waves crashed on the beach, but Krillin flew over the water, frequently checking over his shoulder to make sure she was still with him; it wasn't as if he could sense her presence. She wasn't quite sure why, but she followed him all the way to a tiny island in the middle of the blue expanse. There was a small pink shack with the words "KAME HOUSE" painted in red on the side. Several palm trees grew up around the shack, and out on the beach there was an old man with a long beard sitting in a lawn chair reading some sort of magazine. It was on this island that Krillin landed, smiling at her encouragingly when he saw her reluctance to join him on the sandy shore.

"I know it's not anything fancy," Krillin mumbled, tapping his index fingers together, "but this is where I've been staying. That's Master Roshi. Would you like to come inside and get dried off? Or – or maybe you want something to eat? Or –"

She shook her head, but a small smile played on her lips. How could she have ever been angry with him? He didn't do what he did because he expected a reward for his kindness. He did it because he genuinely cared. He only wanted to make her feel comfortable. While she wasn't sure about entering his home, she could hardly reject him again. Gratitude was becoming a common feeling for her when he was around. She didn't fully understand it, but she wasn't complaining. For the first time since being activated as an android, she could feel something _real_. And no device implanted in her brain was making the feeling go away. She decided, then, that she might give Krillin a chance. If he could awaken some sort of feeling in her, make her feel just a little bit human again, he was the kind of person she wanted to be around.

"I'd like to clean up."

"Oh! Yeah, no problem." Krillin blushed as he opened the front door and beckoned for her to go in ahead of him. Almost shyly, she stepped across the threshold and surveyed the room before she heard Krillin calling to her to follow him upstairs. He showed her into a small bathroom. It was cramped, but there was a porcelain sink with a mirror hanging above it, a toilet, and a shower stall. Fresh white towels hung on a metal bar on the back of the door and there was a bottle of shampoo in the shower and a bar of soap. Definitely lacking in luxury, but it was nice. More than she could have asked for, at any rate.

She fingered her pearl necklace as she took in the small room. "I don't suppose you would have any clothes for me to change into."

Krillin's eyes widened for a moment. He hadn't even thought of that. "I'm sure there's something around here for you to wear. I'm not sure how well it would, uh, would fit you, but I can f-find something."

She gave another curt nod, then pushed a tangled, damp strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Krillin."

"I'll just, uh, I'll set the clothes outside the door here," he mumbled as he backed out of the bathroom, closing the door on his way.

She stared at the closed door for a minute before turning the lock on the doorknob. Whether she was grateful for his hospitality or not, she still wasn't sure how far she could trust him. Then, feeling somewhat safer, she started peeling her soggy clothes off, wringing them out in the sink before dropping them on the cool tile floor. Then she got in the shower and turned the water to lukewarm. She imagined the gentle spray of water would have made her feel happy once, but now she felt nothing but the sensation of droplets of water beating against her back and shoulders before dripping down her legs, carrying the accumulated dirt with it. For a long while she stood there, watching the dirty water swirling down the drain.

She was startled when she heard a soft knock on the bathroom door, then relaxed when she heard Krillin's muffled voice telling her the new clothes were there. She had no idea where he would have gotten any women's clothing, but she dismissed the thought and turned around, closing her eyes as the water splashed on her face and trickled down her neck and chest. Finally, she picked up the shampoo bottle and squirted a dollop of it into her hands and worked it into her filthy, mussed up hair until the suds were a dark gray from the dirt. How had she gotten so dirty? She never would have let her hygiene become so poor before. But there was a thin layer of slime coating her body that the water was having trouble rinsing off, no doubt a last gift from Cell. Her body had been tossed in the dirt while the slime was still fresh, and then she had blown up the pasture and stood in the cloud of dust. She hadn't bathed since then, and the rain hadn't washed all the dirt off her body.

Once her hair was clean, she picked up the faintly scented bar of soap and started scrubbing her body with a ferocity that left her skin pink and raw. She was desperate to wash off the last remains of her horrifying experience with Cell, letting it flow down the drain where it could be forgotten forever. She felt another twinge of anger like a tiny pinprick in the back of her mind. Memories of the monster Cell always brought the briefest feeling of anger with them. And she wanted to feel the anger, wanted to seethe with it, stew in her fury until she trembled and she could feel it burning in her chest like fire. But she couldn't. It was always gone as soon as it came. Seeing no point in faking the emotion for the time being, she finished rinsing and turned the shower off, then stepped out and took one of the towels from the rack to dry herself.

After she dried, she combed her hair with her fingers and cracked the door open, peeking out to make sure no one was around. Satisfied when she didn't find anyone spying on her, she snatched the pile of clothes from the floor and quickly shut the door, locking it again. She unfolded the clothes and found Krillin had given her a pair of denim shorts, a plain blue t-shirt with the Capsule Corporation logo on the left breast, and some underclothes. She could imagine the bright red blush adorning his cheeks as he picked those out for her. The thought made her smile a little as she purposely ignored the hint of outrage. She was much more inclined to indulge in the feeling of thankfulness over anger this time.

She put the clothes on, noting how well everything fit her. The shirt was a little large, as if designed for someone with a larger bust, but she didn't mind. It wasn't a particularly stylish ensemble, nothing she would have picked out for herself, but she realized that there probably wasn't much women's clothing to be found on the little island. Before leaving the bathroom, she picked up her wet clothes and went downstairs where she thought she would find Krillin.

He was in the kitchen humming some song horribly off-key when she came down. Hearing her amused snort, he spun around and rubbed the back of his head, smiling sheepishly as color flooded into his cheeks. "Hey, you look good – I mean, not that you didn't before, er, I mean, what I meant to say was—"

"I'm not offended."

"Oh. Well, good." He looked down at the clothes she held in her hand and pointed to them. "Would you like to hang them up to dry? Roshi doesn't have a dryer, but there's a clothesline out back."

"Sure." She walked past him on the way to the back door of Kame House. As she passed him, she touched his smooth head with the tips of her fingers, giving him a smile that expressed without words the strange feeling that bloomed inside her every time he said or did anything kind for her. Her pale blue eyes turned to the counter to see what he was doing when she walked in. "By the way, I don't like mustard."

…

I watch as he cuts two turkey sandwiches in half, one with mustard, one without. It seems like I've known him all my life, but he still fascinates me. I suppose, in a way, I _have_ known him all my life; at least, my life as an android. Dr. Gero programmed all known information about all the earthling warriors in my brain, so I know all about Krillin's fighting techniques, quirks, battle tendencies, background information, and alliances. But what has that really told me about him as a man? It certainly didn't tell me that this was a man worth marrying. No, he built my trust all on his own. I was actually programmed to take a ruthless attitude toward him, killing him if he got in the way of my ultimate purpose: killing Goku and uniting with Cell.

I'm satisfied that I didn't follow through with Dr. Gero's plans for me. Krillin is a wonderful husband. Since the first day we met he has been nothing but kind and considerate, always putting my needs – few as they are – above his own. He has worked to learn more about me, and rather than feeling the start of anger or even mild irritation that he wants to know about me, I feel a sort of flattery that feeds into the sense of gratitude I've had toward him since that day on the Lookout when he made the wish that brought back a tiny piece of my humanity.

I could be angry every day of my life. There are plenty of stimuli that could create such a reaction (most of which are related to the Turtle Pervert), and I could act on the anger I should be feeling. Sometimes I do. I punch Roshi, or slap him, or kick him into the ocean. I sometimes even yell at my husband or make a cruel, snide remark when he displeases me, but that doesn't happen very often. I can't say I'm happy because I don't honestly know what it means to be happy, but I can say with sincerity that I am grateful for the life I have, the life Krillin offered me one day in the rain when he invited me to come with him. On a leap of faith I followed, and I haven't regretted it.

_A/N: I know in the poll not many of you voted for a K/18 story, but I started this one a few months ago and I finished it in about a week. It's going to be short, obviously, but I hope you enjoy it. So, please review!_

_All definitions taken from _Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 11th ed.

_Beta'd by lilpumpkingirl_


	2. Fear and Security

Fear and Security

Fear (n.) - 1: a. an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger, b. an instance of this emotion; 2: anxious concern; 3: profound reverence and awe esp. toward God; 4. reason for alarm

Security (n.) - 1: the quality or state of being secure: as a. freedom from danger: safety, b. freedom from fear or anxiety, c. freedom from the prospect of being laid off; 2: a. something given, deposited, or pledged to make certain the fulfillment of an obligation, b. surety; 3: an instrument of investment in the form of a document (as a stock certificate or bond) providing evidence of its ownership; 4: a. something that secures: protection, b (1). measures taken to guard against espionage or sabotage, crime, attack, or escape (2). an organization or department whose task is security

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><p>I sit in the recently vacated chair on the beach after issuing a subtle threat to the island pervert's personal well-being. From here I can see my husband standing knee-deep in the ocean waves, his hands cupped at his right side as he chants the name of the ki technique he's busy practicing. He doesn't train much anymore; after a few years of peace he has become somewhat complacent, figuring there could never be a threat as dire as Cell again, and even if there is, the saiyans will be more than strong enough to defeat it. It doesn't matter much to me that he doesn't train extensively. After all, I was stronger than him to begin with, so it isn't as if I'm worried about my husband being a weakling in comparison.<p>

I see him move his hands forward and the blue beam of energy shoots from his hands, parting the ocean. I like to watch him practice the kamehameha wave. On the beach I can feel drops of the ocean sprinkling down on me and his silhouette in the ethereal light is alluring. The wind ruffles his wavy black hair, then it settles while he moves his hands to his side to start gathering energy again. I can't sense ki as he can, but I can tell from my observations that he isn't as strong as he used to be. Actually, he has been losing strength since Cell's defeat, but somehow that doesn't affect the way he makes me feel.

It's a feeling hard to describe, but it doesn't fade like simple emotions. I'm not sure when it started, and I don't think it really matters when it did. What matters to me is that it did and that it continues even now. And I like to think it's a feeling that will last a lifetime. As long as I have him in my life, it will be there, and once again I can thank him for making me feel, for making me more than a computer-brained android.

…

It wasn't until several months after Krillin first took her to Roshi's island that she finally accepted his invitation to stay there permanently. Though she liked the way he made her feel, that he even evoked something inside that she _could_ feel, she still didn't trust him enough to live in the same house as him even though there was an extra guestroom she could have had to herself. Even if she did trust him, she certainly did not trust Roshi, who she quickly found out was the biggest pervert on the planet.

Over the months, she saw Krillin fairly often, though she never went to the same place twice. Somehow, he kept finding her, usually bringing some sort of gift, sometimes some food or drink even though she didn't technically need any to live. They were small gifts, such as a silver wristwatch, barrettes, or lip gloss. It seemed if he knew nothing else about her, he knew she had a vain streak that he willingly pampered. And every time he saw her, he asked her to come back with him to Roshi's island to stay with him. Each time she refused.

There was always a short pinch of fear that she recognized before it disappeared when he asked. She didn't know what she was afraid of, but she trusted the human emotion enough to reject the kind man over and over again. He was patiently persistent, but she was steadfastly stubborn in her rebuttals to his advances. Perhaps it was fear that he wasn't the kind of man she wanted to believe he was. Maybe it was fear that he would lose interest in her. It could have been fear that she liked him more than she realized. Then again, it was possible she was simply afraid of any kind of commitment.

She was still trying to work out the meaning of her life. She hadn't seen Seventeen since Cell absorbed him, so she was trying to make her way without her brother, the only person she felt she could fully trust and rely on. She knew that aside from Krillin, the other warriors didn't particularly care for her; likely they still viewed her as a threat to the safety of the planet. She didn't know how to change that opinion, and she wasn't sure she cared enough to bother. Other than Gohan, Piccolo, and Vegeta, she was still stronger than them all. If those three left her alone, she was free to go about her business without being threatened.

But what if one of them _did_ come after her? What if she couldn't convince him that she wasn't evil and had no intention of destroying the world? Every time she thought about that possibility she felt another wave of fear, swiftly quelled by the emotion-inhibiting device. That was the true reason she never camped out at the same location for long and never returned to any place she had stayed before. The fear wasn't constant, but she remembered it and acted on it. Out of self-preservation she kept on the move like some sort of fugitive. Was that what she was? Did any of the warriors even think about her anymore, or was she some minor problem they could take care of with ease if she ever decided to live up to the future boy's prophecy? There was no way of knowing, so she reasoned it was safest to live on the run.

The fear of being destroyed paired with all the other fears she had of staying with Krillin made her refuse his repeated invitations. If she lived at Kame House, everyone would know exactly where to find her. She would be making a commitment of some sort of relationship to Krillin she didn't think she was ready for. She would be putting herself in a situation where someone might try to take advantage of her, or where she would grow a stronger attachment to Krillin that she wasn't sure she wanted. And maybe she was nothing but a challenge to him, and if she moved in with him he would consider it a challenge met and go on with his life not thinking about her anymore. No, she was really much more comfortable living by herself, even if it was in the middle of the wilderness with no real shelter the majority of the time.

She was sitting with her back leaning against an ancient oak near the edge of a pond when Krillin dropped out of the sky near her. She looked up at him passively before picking up the red leather knapsack he had given her some time ago to keep her extra belongings in and moving it so he could sit next to her. They didn't bother with the formality of greetings as Krillin walked over and sat down. Sitting there in the quiet, all they heard was the gentle lapping of the pond water on its muddy banks and the breeze in the cattails. In the distance a single frog croaked.

Whenever he was close to her she felt a sort of peace, as if she believed he could make everything right, and he could protect her and would stay with her forever. It was ridiculous, but it was a feeling she couldn't – and wouldn't – shake. He wasn't pushy and he never did anything to make her feel uncomfortable, aside from asking her if she wanted to live at Kame House. And even that he asked with the most benevolent intentions. He wanted her to have the stability of a real home.

He exhaled slowly, his breath misting in the frigid air. Fumbling around in his pocket, he finally fished out his gift for her: pearl earrings. Taking her slender hand in his, he pressed them into her palm and closed her fingers around them, not allowing her to refuse them. She watched from the corner of her eye as he leaned back against the tree and tilted his head back, gazing at the mostly bare branches with the last golden leaves of autumn clinging to them. He never said a word, but then, he didn't need to. She understood him without him trying to express his thoughts and feelings with such a feeble form of communication.

Several long minutes passed before he broke the silence, telling her, "I visited Gohan yesterday. He – he asked me if I'd seen you much." He paused, blushing.

She raised an eyebrow as she turned to face him. "You told him?"

He nodded once. "Yeah. He said – it's funny really – he said everyone's wondering if we're going to, you know, date or something. Not that I think we should! I mean I'd like to – I mean, you know! I told him it's complicated!" He finished with a mortified groan.

She grunted, turning back to stare over the pond to the dense forest beyond. "What would your friends think if we did?"

Krillin stammered a little before he could form complete words. "I guess they'd, well, I think they'd be happy about it."

"They don't think I would hurt you?" She frowned a little at the thought.

"No way!" he assured her, waving his hands defensively, "No one thinks you're a bad person anymore!"

The familiar sense of fear came and went, and for the first time she wondered if she should heed it. She didn't believe Krillin would lie to her about something like that. Over the past few months she had learned to discern when he was only telling half-truths, though he didn't tell them often. Usually only when he was trying to hide his true feelings out of fear of rejection. He was definitely being honest with her. They didn't think she was bad. They didn't want to hurt her. They might even support a relationship between herself and Krillin. She found she didn't at all dislike that idea.

He fell into silence again. She reached up and took her hoop earrings out and replaced them with the pearl earrings Krillin gave her. After tucking the old ones in her knapsack, she put her hand over Krillin's and intertwined her fingers with his.

"It doesn't have to be complicated."

Able to do little more than grin stupidly, he gently squeezed her hand and watched the cattails bending in the breeze. He didn't need to ask what she meant, and he didn't have to ask the same question he'd been asking for months. She answered both of them by making the first move, the first sign of real affection when she took his hand. Feeling her smooth hand in his made him forget the rough bark snagging on his sweater and the chill air biting into him.

A few hours later they stood on the sandy beach of Roshi's island looking at the pink shack. She felt the fear again, but it was gone almost instantly. Not fast enough for her not to notice, of course. It presented her with a choice: fake the emotion and back out, or ignore it and move forward. Her brows knit as she considered her options. She had been faking fear for months. Frankly, she was tired of faking it, especially since she couldn't even feel it most of the time. There was no good reason to be afraid anymore. Firming her resolve, she took Krillin's hand again as he led them toward the front door.

With the door open, she looked inside and almost turned on her heel to run. There was no fear present, but she thought it _should_ be there, she _should_ feel some sort of fear or anxiety or something as she crossed the threshold. She could fake the emotion she figured would be appropriate or remain perfectly stoic as she made the decision to take up permanent residence in the little house. She turned to Krillin for reassurance and all ideas of fleeing were swept away when she saw his happiness. There was nothing to be afraid of, she told herself. Nothing at all. If Krillin were here, it would be okay. She could trust him. He'd proven that already.

"Where's the pervert?"

Krillin shrugged. "Bathroom? He spends a lot of time in there."

Accepting his answer, she went to the stairs and looked up into the dark shadows broken only by stray beams of sunlight streaming in the windows upstairs. Leading the way, she started up the stairs and stopped at the top, looking around. She'd been there before, but other than the bathroom she never explored any of the other rooms. He would have to show her which room was to be hers.

"I, uh, didn't know if you would – if you were going to come, so I, uh, well the room isn't all ready," he explained as he led her to the door at the end of the hall. He opened it and took a few steps inside, giving her room to come in after him. The bed was already made with plain white sheets and a light blue blanket. Lacy white curtains danced in the breeze drifting in the open window. There was a pine wood bureau of drawers pushed against the wall, a matching nightstand next to the bed with an alarm clock and a small lamp perched on it. On the far side of the room was another door, presumably hiding a closet. The walls were pale yellow and the floor was hardwood. Nothing fancy, but it was cozy. It was hers. She walked over to the bed and laid her knapsack on it, turning in a circle as she surveyed the room from a new angle. Small, comfortable. From there she could also see there was a deadbolt on the door, likely to keep out snoopy perverts. Secure.

In a single fluid movement she sat on the edge of the bed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Someone who didn't know her might have thought her movements were dreamlike, as if she were in a daze, but Krillin knew better. She was satisfied with her room. He rubbed his bald head as he took a seat next to her on the bed.

"I hope you like it."

"It's nice."

He gave her a crooked smile and nodded in agreement. He built the bureau and nightstand himself, so he was glad she liked them. Maybe if he could get money somehow he could buy her nicer things. She would probably like more clothes and a change of bed linens. Maybe she would want to paint the walls a different color or pick out her own curtains. He was relieved she was okay with what she had for now. He wanted to give her everything she wanted, but it would take time and he didn't have much money, so a lot of it would have to wait.

"I'm glad you're here," he told her.

She sighed quietly. "Don't make me change my mind about it."

Gulping, he shook his head, vehemently promising not to overstep his boundaries. He would never push her to do anything she didn't want to do. He wouldn't let Master Roshi bother her. He would make sure she had everything she needed and more. He would make sure she felt at home here.

And she believed him. She knew he would keep his promises. There was nothing to worry about. She didn't need him to, and a small part of her didn't want him to, but he would take care of her. She stiffened for a moment when she felt him put his arm around her shoulders in a sort of side hug, but then she relaxed. She had nothing to fear from him. It dawned on her that while Seventeen was gone, maybe forever, she didn't need him anymore. Krillin had come into her life and he was willing and able to stay by her side. She didn't know how she knew, but she did. Krillin was someone she could count on, someone she could trust. He would never push her away and he would protect her from anything or die trying. She wasn't much for chivalry and all that; with anyone else she might have been angry, but with him she valued it, took comfort in it. He gave her a sense of security she hadn't had since, well, since the first time she saw Cell. She hadn't realized how much she needed some sort of constant in her life, but now that she had one, she wondered how she could ever live without it.

"You don't have to pay rent or anything," he told her, breaking her out of her thoughts. "You're free to stay here as long as you want. I wish I could give you a better place to stay, but, you see, I don't have much money, and, well, this is kind of home to me."

"It's fine for now." Honestly she didn't want to stay with the pervert for long, but she understood Krillin's predicament. Maybe she could convince him to get a job or something so he could earn enough money to get a place of his own. It didn't matter at the moment, though. She was still adjusting to the idea of living somewhere, not temporarily lodging wherever she thought was safe and secluded enough.

Several days after she moved in to Kame House, they were visited by Gohan and his grandfather, the Ox King. She wanted to stay upstairs out of sight; if she was quiet, they would never know she was there because she had no ki to sense. Of course Krillin might mention something, but she asked him not to. She still didn't trust any of his friends, especially not any of the three who were strong enough to kill her. When Krillin told her Gohan was coming over, she felt the sharp stab of fear again before it was inhibited. What if he was coming to destroy her when she wasn't expecting it? What if he changed his mind and didn't want her and Krillin to be together? She doubted he trusted her. It was safer not to trust him either.

She stood in front of the window in her room and looked down at the small gathering of old friends on the beach. Krillin hugged Gohan and shook hands with the Ox King. They were close, obviously. Would he let her be in danger? Would he have brought her to stay here where all his friends could find her if he thought they would hurt her? She wasn't feeling the suppressed fear, but she knew what it was trying to tell her before it was extinguished. She was in danger, threatened by a prepubescent boy. Looking at her situation that way, she realized how silly it was to fake fear of him and stay out of sight and out of mind. She had no reason to be afraid of him. He was a gentle boy, and Krillin assured her she was safe. Even if she didn't trust Gohan yet, she trusted Krillin's judgment.

And so she opened her window and climbed out onto the roof of the porch, then jumped down to the ground several feet away from the others. She moved silently, so they didn't notice her approach until she was right behind Krillin. He jumped in surprise when he saw her, but then he grinned. Taking her hand, he introduced her to their guests, though she already knew who both of them were, and no doubt they knew who she was. Gohan did, at least.

"Hello," Gohan said, bowing respectfully.

She pushed her hair behind her ear but didn't respond. She wasn't sure how. Should she be friendly? Formal? Should she thank him for saving her from Cell? Should she remain cautious around him? Trust him? Shake hands? Bow? She stood there awkwardly, feeling horribly out of place as if she had intruded on a party she wasn't invited to.

Gohan smiled a little and rubbed his thick black hair. "It's good to see you again. How have you been?"

She saw him squirm under her calm, steady gaze. It didn't seem possible that this little boy was the savior of the world. He was as nervous as she should have been. "Fine."

"Oh, well that's good. So are you and Krillin dating now?"

Krillin's cheeks flushed as he smacked the boy on the head. "Smooth, bro," he growled.

One side of her mouth turned up in a sort of smile. "I guess you could say we are."

"W-what? We are?"

Gohan looked at Krillin wide-eyed, then blinked. "I don't get it, Krillin. Why don't you ever know when a girl's your girlfriend?"

"Well, you see, it's just that, I didn't want to, uh, rush things," he explained, bowing his head as he looked down at the sand and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Not that I'm saying we shouldn't, er, you know, date."

The flash of fear she felt when he seemed confused by her proclamation was soothed by a warm blanket of security when she listened to his explanation. He was so bad with words; he was nervous and jumpy and stuck his foot in his mouth more than half the time, but it was his actions that she looked to for understanding. He might say the wrong thing every time, but he always did what was right. That was why she knew she could rely on him, why she knew he was her security.

They stayed outside for a while talking until finally they moved inside out of the scorching heat. She was the last to go in, right behind Krillin. Seeing everyone take a seat in the living room made a fragment of the feeling she was growing used to fade; part of her security was stolen away by their presence in her home. She couldn't really explain it, but for some reason she felt like they were invading her private space, nosing around where they didn't belong. But all they were doing was sitting and chatting with old friends as they had surely done many times before she ever came to live at Kame House. Keeping a wary eye on the visitors, she sat next to Krillin.

"Is everything okay?" he whispered.

Her stoic expression never faltered, but somehow he could tell something was bothering her. She wasn't feeling fear again, but she was feeling less of the comforting sense of safety that had been growing since moving in. It was a subtle change, but one she noticed right away, one she desperately wanted to reverse. She debated whether or not to answer him with full honesty.

"They make me uncomfortable."

"Gohan and Ox King? Don't worry, they're harmless." The bald man rubbed her back in a circular, soothing motion. The tension in her body seemed to melt away at his touch. As if he were working some sort of magic on her she could feel the new, welcome feeling returning full force. Almost defiantly she looked over at Gohan and his grandfather, purposely making eye contact with them to show she wasn't bothered by them. Because she wasn't, not anymore.

Ignoring the conversation, she wondered when she became like some sort of wild animal. Distrusting, suspicious, threatened. Maybe she had always been like that, but when Seventeen was around she hadn't noticed because he made her feel safe. They were the two strongest beings on the planet, at least until Cell came. Okay, Sixteen was stronger too, but they didn't know it. Either way, she felt untouchable when she was part of the twin android duo, two machines built for destruction. She wasn't exactly a follower, but she preferred being part of a group she could trust. Her brother had always been the leader of the pack, and she was satisfied to follow and keep him in check when he got too out of control. But he was gone. Was it when he was taken away from her that she started acting fearful, actually listening to the brief bits of fear? She never had when he was with her. Security wasn't an issue because she had known she was safe from any possible threats. But everything changed fast, and she soon became the hunted. Maybe the experience of being stalked by a monstrous predator still haunted her.

With the feeling of security revived, she breathed a small sigh of relief and leaned against Krillin, allowing him to wrap his arm protectively around her slim waist. How was it that someone so much weaker could make her feel so safe? She didn't understand it, and she decided not to question it. The 'why' didn't matter to her anymore. All that mattered was that not only had she found a person she wanted to _be_ around, she found someone she wanted to _stay_ around.

…

I hear the shower turn off in the next room and wait patiently for him to come to our bedroom to dry and get dressed. He walks into our shared bedroom, water trickling from his hair and down his chest until it reaches the towel wrapped around his waist. He doesn't say anything, but he smiles at me before going over to the bureau to get fresh clothes after his training session. While he dresses himself my gaze wanders around the room. It's nice to have a safe haven like this where we can come to be alone with all the privacy in the world. We share the house with a pig, a turtle, and a perverted hermit, but this is our room, our sanctuary. No one else passes through that door without an invitation, and such invitations are rarely given. And not just by my request. Krillin doesn't like other people butting in here either. I appreciate that about him.

He puts on a navy blue polo shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, then sits next to me on the bed. I can tell he's tired from his training; using ki always wears purely organic beings out. I can't sympathize since I have an unlimited power source inside me. I push back a strand of hair from my face and turn to him. I can see my reflection in his deep brown eyes, and it makes me smile. It reminds me that I'm the only woman he will ever see as a partner, a lover. The same old feeling of security washes over me when I think how he will be with me as long as he lives. Not once since I moved in to this house has he abandoned me, and never has he even threatened to leave me.

I lie down on the bed and he lies next to me, never saying a word. He props himself up on his elbow and leans over me, brushing my hair back with his free hand. I feel his warm fingers lightly touching my face and it makes me feel protected and cared for. I still refuse to admit _needing_ protection or care from any other person, even Krillin, but that doesn't mean I'm not grateful for it, that it doesn't make me feel security that I could find nowhere else. He has been my rock, my solid foundation for so long I can't imagine my life without him. I'm not sentimental. I don't have the emotions for such rubbish. But I know that what I have is a rare, wonderful gift that I wouldn't exchange for the world. When I am with him, I know that everything will be all right.

_A/N: Tell me how I'm doing on 18's character. She's hard to write because she is generally so stoic... but it's a fun challenge for me. So, again, review!_

_Beta'd by lilpumpkingirl _


	3. Sadness and Hate

Sadness and Hate

Sad (adj.) - 1: a. affected with or expressive of grief or unhappiness, b. causing or associated with grief or unhappiness, c. of little worth; 2: of a dull somber color

Hate (n.) - 1: a. an intense hostility and aversion usu. deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury, b. extreme dislike or antipathy: loathing; 2: an object of hatred

* * *

><p>I look up at the dark clouds and zip up my rain jacket. I don't feel like going inside to hide from the adverse weather. A streak of lightning dashes through the sky, soon followed by a clap of roaring thunder. Seconds later a torrential downpour starts, blowing across the island in the chill wind. The rain will do horrible things to my hair, but right now I don't care. Sometimes I find it strangely satisfying to expose myself to the harsher elements. I tilt my chin back and blink the rain out of my eyes. I know Krillin sometimes worries about me when I do things like this; he automatically assumes it's because I'm not feeling well or something is on my mind. Even now he doesn't fully realize how little I feel. I'm not affected by emotions the way he is. How could I explain it to him? Someone who feels doesn't understand how another cannot. It's like trying to tell a blind man what it's like to see, or a blind man telling a man with sight what it's like <em>not<em> to be able to see. There's a chasm in understanding that can't be crossed.

I push my wet hair back as it sticks to my face. I hear the front door of Kame House creak open and slap closed, but I don't turn to see who it is. I already know my husband of one year is standing on the steps watching me. I imagine his clutching his red jacket closed with his head slightly bowed to protect his eyes from the sharp drops of water. I can't understand his concern for me. I wish I could, but with my inability to feel, my empathy is mostly faked like my emotions. I finally turn when I feel his warm hand enclose mine.

He doesn't say anything, apparently happy to stand in the gusting wind with me as the storm rages around us. It seems strange to me that even the weather seems to have more genuine emotions than I do. It reminds me how abhorrently unnatural I am. One side of my mouth turns down, the subtle expression lost in the blinding rain. A raging storm: is it angry? A bright, sunny day: is it as cheerful as we say? Dreary, gray clouds: are they sad? Feelings are an enigma to me, and even now, after being with Krillin for so long, I still try to hide the fact that I don't feel. If he knew about the emotion-inhibitor would he doubt what I truly _do_ feel? The feelings he awakens are precious to me. They are so oddly foreign, but they are the most real thing I have. And sometimes it is the reality of these feelings that I dislike the most.

…

She stood off to the side, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. It was the first time she agreed to accompany Krillin when he went to a small gathering at Capsule Corporation with his friends. She wished she had decided to stay home; it was awkward and uncomfortable to be around these people who previously held such animosity toward her. For the most part they ignored or silently accepted her presence, but she knew they were uneasy around her. Maybe it was her cold, lifeless eyes that drilled holes through their souls. Or maybe it was that they still wondered if she was going to follow Mirai Trunks' prophecy and try to destroy the world. The reason didn't matter; all that mattered was that they didn't trust her and, though they may not say it, didn't want her there. Especially Vegeta. He was as distant from the others as she, but she could sense a particular hostility from him. She couldn't blame him. The files she had on him described him as pathologically egotistical, a real narcissist, and she had bested him with ease during their first fight. Even if he could kill her now, he couldn't forget his defeat.

Turning her attention from the saiyan prince, she listened to Krillin finishing a humorous story about training with Goku as a kid. The others burst into laughter, so she forced a short, weak chuckle. Its fake sound made her cringe. How could an android make a realistic sound of inner joy? She felt no joy, at least not for longer than a millisecond. Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she wished she could participate in the festivities of Krillin and his friends. She didn't care much about the others, but she wanted to be able to be at Krillin's side, not standing aside in the shadows, trying to hide her inability to blend in.

Her lips turned down when she felt a brief flash of sadness. She recognized it instantly, and though it was now gone, it made a lasting impression. She looked back over at the group of long-time friends, wondering what she had to be sad about. At the moment she wasn't next to Krillin and wasn't participating in their lively conversation, but was that enough to make her sad? She snorted at her own ridiculous human emotion. Sadness was something she wasn't so willing to entertain or fake through words and behavior. Perhaps she wanted to seem human, to make herself believe she was at least in part still human, but she wasn't willing to be petty. At least, not until she felt another pang of sadness that was quickly extinguished.

Damn it all, she really did want to be human again. She couldn't remember what it was like, but she knew that it had to be better than her current existence. She imagined if she were still human she wouldn't be so hollow inside. She could enjoy herself as the humans around her were. She could feel what Krillin felt when he was with her. She could lose her rationality for a moment and stick her foot in her mouth as he so often did. Wouldn't that be… pointless. She shook her head, again choosing to ignore the sadness that was held at bay by the device Dr. Gero installed in her brain. The device that stole away a part of her humanity.

Then she felt another emotion she hadn't felt for a while – at least not since she caught Roshi trying to peek through the key hole in the bathroom door. Anger. At least, she thought it was anger at first. But when it didn't fade, she focused more attention on the feeling swelling inside, practically consuming her like a fire from the inside. Her hands clenched into fists as she delved into the feeling, reveling in the ability to feel anything even if it made her internal temperature rise and her body tremble.

"Hon? Are you okay?"

She hadn't realized her eyes were closed until she opened them and saw Krillin standing in front of her, concern etched clearly on his face. Looking past him, she saw the others had stopped in their storytelling to watch their interaction. As soon as the feeling came it was gone, returning her to robotic stoicism. Except for the tiniest sense of sadness over losing the feeling.

"I'm fine," she answered. Krillin looked surprised when he heard a slight waver in her normally deadpan tone. Seeing his expression, she quickly averted her pale blue eyes.

"You sure?"

"Yes," she hissed. The feeling she lost returned for a few seconds before dimming.

"Okay," he said, raising his hands as he backed off. "You just looked, well, you looked upset about something."

She sniffed, rolling her eyes at his concern. She didn't like to act so coldly toward the only person she liked, but he was grating on her nerves. Funny, she thought, how she could be irritated even if she didn't feel anything. "Go back to your friends. Don't let me spoil your fun."

The emotionless, hollow tone had returned, which assured him everything was as it should be with her. Sighing, Krillin nodded and gave her a hesitant smile before turning and walking back over to his friends.

Was something wrong with her? She snorted. Only everything. She was some sort of twisted abomination. Half machine, half organic, she didn't really fit into either world. She could still catch glimpses of the emotions she should have that made her feel human again, but by and large she thought like a purely rational computer. She wanted so much to remember what life was like as a human before she was turned into this…thing. If the memories were there, she didn't know how to access them. All she knew (and she wasn't sure how she knew) was that she and her twin brother were kidnapped by Dr. Gero and taken to his secret laboratory to be turned into androids. Technically they were cyborgs, but he treated them as pure machines, going so far as to dub them Android 17 and Android 18. The ultimate dehumanization.

She felt her fingernails digging into her palms as her fists tightened. There it was again, the feeling mysteriously similar to anger that wasn't stolen from her. Being more careful to mask her automatic body language, she explored the feeling deeper, wondering where it stemmed from and why it wasn't being inhibited. The world around her seemed to fade away as she lost herself in it, drowning herself in the tumultuous feeling. After several long minutes of stoking its flames and testing its magnitude, she was finally able to confirm what it was: hate. Having figured that out, she was able to conclude what caused it: Dr. Gero.

When she and her brother killed him, had they been acting out of hatred? Had it been so short-lived because of their successful annihilation of the crazed scientist that she didn't have time to feel it before? Or were they simply acting defiantly based on no particular feeling or reason? Thinking back, she couldn't honestly remember. Maybe there had been some sort of hatred flowing through her as she watched her brother slaughter him.

It made sense to hate Dr. Gero, but why was the feeling arise presently? She shifted her gaze to the group of friends who were again laughing boisterously over an old story they had likely heard dozens of times before. That was why. Sadness reared its ugly head before dipping back below her conscious awareness. She wanted to be like them. Seeing them having a good time made her want to be a part of it; even if she couldn't fully understand the concept of joy, she still knew that it was pleasant. Something worth having. Something she would never know again. And it was because of her maniacal creator.

Apparently the others decided to relocate the party because they started filing out of the room in small clusters. She watched passively as Bulma stopped next to Vegeta and stroked his cheek, whispering something to him. Bulma's affection was so blatantly obvious. Shouldn't Vegeta have responded in kind? Shouldn't he have at least shown some sort of feeling? It didn't matter if he should have because he didn't.

What a fool. He wasn't human, but saiyans had emotions all the same. But Vegeta was too damn proud to recognize his emotions, suppressing them. Didn't he realize what a gift they were? Aside from anger, he hid them, ignored them, pushed them away until he was dead to them. She would gladly trade places with him. Let him have his stoicism and she could have the emotions she craved. They were wasted on him. She felt another jolt of sadness, this time mixed with anger as she observed the stony-faced saiyan. He didn't deserve what he had. And Bulma shouldn't waste her time with him. She was an honest, caring woman. She was the type of woman any man would be lucky to have.

Sadness again, then gone. She could never be that type of woman for Krillin. Try as she might, she couldn't feel. She could go on counterfeiting emotions her whole life, but they would never be what he needed from her. What he deserved. She found herself experiencing hate again as she followed Bulma and Vegeta out of the room. But this time it was directed at the saiyan. She wanted to make him realize what she saw, but getting through to him would be nearly impossible. And hardly worth the trouble. She didn't want anything to do with him. She could have done it for Bulma's benefit, but she didn't have much attitude toward the blue-haired woman one way or the other.

"What are you thinking about?" Krillin asked as he held his arm out for her to take.

She gazed down at the short man, briefly making eye contact with him. He was the only person who didn't ever seem to be put on edge by her eyes. Sadness. Hatred. Sadness again. Nothing. It wasn't fair that she was devoid of emotion but she could still feel something as strong as hate. What good was that? She couldn't hate him, so it was a feeling wasted. Yes, she wanted to feel for herself, but more than that she wanted to feel for _his_ sake. She wanted to be able to reciprocate, to know what it was like to be in his head when he looked at her or talked with her.

The injustice of it was maddening. It was one thing to install a limitless power core and give her the ability to fly without ki, but it was something else entirely to inhibit her emotions and steal a part of who she was. Memories she could live without. But emotions? No. She needed those so she could be the kind of woman Krillin deserved. He was a good man. He was kind, thoughtful, generous, and caring. Happiness danced in his deep brown eyes when he saw her and he couldn't seem able to hide his smile whenever she entered the room. But her? She never smiled without thinking about it. Her eyes showed nothing. There was nothing there to show. How could he want someone like her? Why couldn't she be better?

She sighed, finally answering, "The downside of being cybernetically modified."

"Downside?" He grinned goofily. "There's no downside. You're perfect the way you are."

She decided not to tell him how wrong he was. She found she honestly didn't want him to know. Maybe he would leave her if he knew she didn't feel joy when she was with him. That she didn't feel sadness when he gone. That she didn't feel anger when someone insulted him. Sadness. Hate. Lots of hate. Sadness over feeling hate. Hate for only feeling hate.

Hate, she discovered, was a choice. Unlike what many people believe, hate isn't the opposite of love. Love and hate are two sides to the same coins: based in passionate feelings and deeply caring about a person. Of course love is positive and hate is negative, but they aren't opposites. She mulled these thoughts over as they walked outside to the patio where Dr. Brief was grilling lunch for them. She could choose to hate, or she could choose the true opposite of love: apathy. She excelled at apathy. After all, she wasn't given the luxury of emotionality. She didn't want to be hateful. She didn't want to expend any energy hating the man who made her into a sort of hybrid monster. She didn't want to feel anything for Dr. Gero if she couldn't feel anything for Krillin. He was the only person on the planet who deserved her feelings.

But it was easier to make the decision to choose apathy over hatred than it was to follow through. As she sat down at the table between Krillin and Gohan, she felt hatred bubbling up again. Never before had she fully realized how much Dr. Gero harmed her. Of course it was evil and sadistic for him to kidnap two runaways and perform unethical experiments on them against their will for the sake of achieving his own selfish goals, but that wasn't the real injury. Maybe without his interference she never would have met Krillin. But she did meet Krillin – after having her emotions effectively removed along with any trace of her former humanity. She was unworthy of him, and that was what made her hate Dr. Gero so strongly. He injured her, but in so doing he also injured Krillin even if he wasn't aware of it. She seethed with the hate even as she tried to dismiss it.

"Babe?"

She turned her head to face Krillin. "What?"

"You seem distracted today. Are you sure you're okay?"

In one instant sadness came and went. She wasn't okay, but she couldn't tell him why. He deserved to know, but she didn't want to lose him. She snapped, "I told you I'm fine."

He sighed heavily. "If you say so."

Her hatred grew. Now she was hurting him because she had been hurt by Gero. Her hatred for him was being taken out on the man she liked. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right. Well, maybe she couldn't get the hate to go away as easily as she hoped, but that didn't mean she had to give in to its thrall. No, she wasn't going to be hateful toward Krillin. So what if she could feel it? So what if the fact that she wasn't fully human made her _feel_ fully human? It wasn't worth hurting Krillin. No way. In the span of five minutes she made a second life-changing decision: as tired as she was of it, regardless of how much she wanted to stop it, as much as she disliked having to deceive him, she was going to continue faking her emotions so he could live in the belief that she really felt them and was really reciprocating his feelings.

But with that decision came another short wave of sadness. This time she wasn't going to hide from it and brush it off because she didn't like it. She should feel sad, so she was going to be sad! With a conscious effort she contracted the muscles in her face to pull the corners of her mouth down. She made her lower lip tremble, then forced some crocodile tears to accumulate in her metallic blue eyes.

Krillin leaned closer when he saw her distress. "Hey, hon, I really wish you'd tell me what's up. I want to help."

She brushed her eyes with the back of her hand, sniffling quietly. "Don't worry about it," she whispered so only he could hear. "I don't want to talk about it here. I'll tell you when we get home."

He frowned but nodded in agreement. "Do you want to go now?"

"No. You shouldn't have to leave because of me." She bowed her head, allowing her hair to slip out from behind her ear and shade her face with a silky blonde curtain. She didn't want the others to see her like this. She was faking sadness purely for Krillin. The others didn't matter to her. She would rather them think of her as a stoic mechanical freak. Faking emotions was hard enough for one person, she didn't want to have to do it for them too, to make it all more believable to him.

"If you're sure," he said. Reaching over, he took her hand and weaved his fingers with hers. She gently squeezed his hand in return.

For the rest of the afternoon she continued to stand off to the side, faking despondency whenever Krillin glanced her way. Lips turned down, eyes were downcast, arms crossed over her chest, nose sniffled, shoulders slumped. As soon as he turned back to his friends she released a breath, allowing herself to relax. If anyone noticed her seemingly bi-polar behavior they didn't mention it. She doubted anyone was paying attention to her anyway.

It wasn't until after dinner that they finally boarded their small plane to return to Roshi's island. She would have preferred flying without the vehicle, but since Turtle, Oolong, and Roshi couldn't fly, Krillin was elected to pilot the plane for them and she wanted to stay with him. She kicked Roshi out of the front passenger seat and rested her hands in her lap, staring passively out the windshield as they flew home. Krillin continued talking and joking with the others, reiterating stories that were told during their visit to Capsule Corporation and bringing up others that weren't shared earlier. She didn't bother listening since they weren't likely to ignite any sort of natural response anyway. Besides, ignoring the fun was a good way of continuing the façade of sadness she was putting on for Krillin.

When they landed on the small beach, she got out of the plane and walked closer to the shore where the surf barely touched her toes. Over the distant crashing waves she heard the sound of the plane being encapsulated, feet shuffling through the sand, and the door of the house opening and closing. She crossed her arms over her chest as she watched the rolling ocean stretching for miles in every direction.

"So what's up?" she heard Krillin ask softly. He sounded distant, but he was probably only a few paces away. She took a deep breath and released it slowly.

"I don't deserve your attention," she told him.

There was a pause. Then he replied shakily, "What do you mean, hon?"

She finally turned around, her mouth drawn in a deep frown. Nervously she clinched her shirt in her hands. "You're too good to me. I can't give you anything in return."

"That's not true – babe, what are you talking about? I don't expect anythi—"

She held up her hand, cutting him off. "I don't feel how you feel."

Krillin swallowed back the lump in his throat. Nodding, he turned his gaze down to the wet sand between his feet and kicked it with his toe. "Does this – I mean, are you – are you breaking up with me?"

"No," she practically shouted. "No, that isn't what I mean." She smoothed her hair back from her face and turned her eyes skyward. The sky was darkening, but it was still light in the west. Still, the first stars were shining and the crescent moon was glowing dimly. She didn't know what she was trying to say anymore. She hadn't bothered rehearsing any speeches during the ride home. She didn't know what she was feeling, if anything, and she didn't know at this point what she _should _be feeling.

"That's a relief," he muttered.

She smiled a little. The idea of leaving him gave her a quick feeling of heartbreak. No, she wasn't going to break up with him. She liked him. A lot. She didn't just want to stay with him, she wanted him to stay with her. If she broke up with him she had no doubt he would avoid her, not only because he would be hurt but because he respected her enough to give her space if that was what she wanted.

Deciding to start over she explained as plainly as she could, "I don't experience emotions the way you do. I can't give you what you want from me."

Krillin stepped closer and took both her hands in his, smiling reassuringly. "Babe, I don't expect or want anything from you. I just want to be with you. That's all."

She shook her head slowly. "You mean you don't care that I won't be happy when you're happy? And I won't be sad when you're sad?"

"Nope. It doesn't matter to me. I know if you could feel you would feel what I'm feeling, but if you can't I don't mind. It doesn't matter to me, hon. I want you to be you," he said. "Besides, I think you do feel _some_ things. I can tell."

"Yes, things like hate," she replied bitterly. "It's awful, but the only person I can feel anything for is that bastard Dr. Gero. I hate him! I hate what he did to me and my brother."

He nodded sympathetically. "You have every right to hate him."

"Stop being so understanding," she grumbled through a small smile. Why was she smiling? She didn't feel happy, at least not that she knew of. But again, Krillin somehow made things happen that she didn't think were possible.

"Sorry," he said jokingly.

Gently pulling her hands free, she sat down in the sand and patted the ground next to her. When he sat next to her, she leaned over, resting her head on his shoulder. "I will try, though. I'll try to show feeling."

"Only if you want to," he said. He stroked her soft hair, pulling it back from her face and tangling his fingers in it.

"I do," she said. She lifted her head from his shoulder and held his chin in her hand, turning him to face her. Her cold blue eyes searched his for a few long moments. He was so good to her. She didn't deserve him, but he wanted her. And she really wanted him. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she tilted her head to the side and moved closer, barely parting her lips as she kissed him for the first time.

He froze at first, experiencing his first kiss. And it was with an amazing woman who, by some twist of fate, returned his affection. Feeling her lips teasing his own, he slid his arms around her and returned her kiss fervently, sloppily, joyfully.

…

The rain stops and the sun shines through a break in the clouds. Water continues to drip from my hair down my neck, chilling me, but I don't mind. Cold doesn't bother me. I'm more concerned about my husband. He hides it well, but I can tell he's raising his ki to warm himself. I put my arm around his shoulders and turn to go inside. The storm is over, taking with it the memories of hatred and sadness. I rarely feel either anymore, so I guess I am as happy as I can be without feeling it.

I never mention the fact that I pretend to feel and he never brings it up. I don't know if he even remembers our conversation on the beach. He probably only remembers the kiss. I smile and feel a blush creeping across my face as I think back on it. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but it was the most perfect kiss we ever shared. I stop him before opening the door and lean down, kissing him softly. He responds by cupping my cheek with his hand and kissing back slowly, tenderly. He has never been forceful with me in anything we do. I am lucky to have a man like this. He accepts me as I am, both the human half and the mechanical half. He has shown me since the first day I met him that he cared about _all_ of me, which is why I do everything I can to give him the kind of woman he deserves: one who feels as he feels, responds to his feelings, and shares feelings with him.

Breaking the kiss, I open the door and take his hand, leading him inside. I sneer when I see Roshi and the pig sitting in front of the television watching an aerobics program. Perverts. At least that will keep them occupied for a while. Turning back to Krillin, I run my hand through his wet hair, gesturing with my head toward the stairs, a playful smile on my lips. Looking toward the staircase, a huge grin spreads across his face. I can't imagine what he's feeling, but I pretend I do as I tug his hand, pulling him to go upstairs with me. I'm going to show him the best way I know how that I feel what he feels, even if only in fleeting bursts.

_A/N: It's amazing to me how unpopular KrillinxEighteen pairings are... I think they're a fascinating couple. Anyway, there's not going to be "action" in this story. For one thing, it's short and doesn't have time for fight scenes, but more importantly it takes place during the seven years of peace post-Cell._

_Beta'd by lilpumpkingirl_


	4. Joy and Contentment

Joy and Contentment

Joy (n.) - 1: a. the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing one's desires: delight, b. the expression or exhibition of such emotion; 2. a state of happiness or felicity: bliss; 3: a source or cause of delight.

Contented (adj.) - feeling or showing satisfaction with one's possessions, status, or situation.

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><p>I turn my head when I hear his irritated groan behind me. I can't see any part of him other than his hands and his legs as he struggles to carry a towering stack of boxes and shopping bags. I guess he isn't copacetic with the idea of stopping in another store before going home. I admit I have been dragging him around the mall for most of the day. I know he doesn't enjoy shopping and I know we don't have a large budget, but every now and then I really want to get some new clothes for the both of us – mostly me. I huff and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, crossing my arms over my chest as I walk a little faster.<p>

The sound of my heels clicking on the smooth tile floor is all that leads him since he can't see or sense me ahead of him. It isn't that I don't appreciate his help carrying things and paying the bills, but I do get a bit miffed when he shows a lack of enthusiasm for shopping with me. If I can't show it, he should do it so at least one of us does. I come to a stop in front of the last department store. The mingling scents of a thousand different perfumes wafts out to the mall corridor. I usually like the clothes I find at this store, but Krillin wants to go home with what we already have. We have already charged so much to our credit card I doubt we'll be able to pay off our debt anytime soon. I sigh, tilting my head to the side as I consider whether or not to go inside.

I shift my eyes to the top of the stack of boxes when Krillin comes up alongside me. The top package is teetering on the edge, dangerously close to falling off and possibly taking at least ten more with it. I know it isn't because he isn't capable; it simply means we have already bought too many things for one day. With a half-hearted shrug I spin on my heel, deciding to leave the store behind. I catch his confused expression and smile with an eye-roll before leaning over to kiss his cheek. Apparently understanding my choice, he does an about-face and hurries after me. I'm not looking when I hear a crash as three dozen boxes tumble to the floor. Pausing, I look behind me and frown when I see Krillin sitting in the middle of a pile of packages, some having fallen open and scattered about a ten foot radius around him.

I might have been mad at any other person for dropping all my recent purchases and effectively putting them on display for any passers-by to see, but my husband looks so cute as he blushes and jumps to his feet to begin collecting the boxes that any irritation I may have felt dissipated. There's no reason to be upset, even if my husband is sometimes clumsy.

…

She picked at a piece of lint stuck to the plain wool blanket she was sitting on as she listened to Krillin recounting a humorous story about his first girlfriend, Maron. He told her how he was so infatuated with her that he actually considered asking her to marry him. He laughed, but she didn't think it was funny. Sometimes when she was listening to someone tell a joke or a funny story, she would feel a bit of joy before it was locked away deep inside. Sometimes it even lasted long enough for her to genuinely smile or even chuckle faintly. But not this time. She never met Maron, but she didn't like her, not at all. Maybe if she could feel she would feel jealousy that someone else had attracted Krillin, that he even _considered_ being with another person forever. It didn't matter that he hadn't even met her yet.

With a wistful sigh she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them, resting her chin on her knees. "Do you regret letting her go?"

"No way!" he exclaimed. "If I hadn't, then I never could have been with you."

There it was, the feeling she lacked all through his story. It was there and gone in a single heartbeat, but it was there. Joy. She wondered if she would feel the sensation described as butterflies in her belly if it could last longer. It didn't really matter. It did last long enough for a real smile to curve her lips up. Unlike so many of her fake smiles, it reached her eyes, though it made little difference as they were still cold and hollow. Even if it was gone as fast as any other emotion, she really liked joy. She wished it could last longer, even if only for a few seconds as opposed to a few milliseconds.

He smiled bashfully as he leaned forward and opened the basket in the middle of the blanket near their feet. A burst of steam rose from it and drifted off in the balmy tropical twilight. Daylight was fading, but their picnic was illuminated by two candles. He thought the flickering light of the flames was enchanting as it danced across her peach skin and shone on her golden hair and ice-blue eyes.

She thought it was quaint that he suggested they have a picnic on the beach of an island several miles from Roshi's island on the evening of their six month anniversary. The anniversary was arbitrary since he never officially asked her to be his girlfriend, but they assumed the day she agreed to come stay at Kame House was the day they started dating. Six months had passed. Six wonderful months, full of bliss for him and almost missed flashes of joy for her.

Nudging the wine cooler with her toe, she quirked an eyebrow to tell him she wanted some. The ice rattled inside against the glass bottle. With a grin he pulled the wine bottle out and opened it, then poured some into the two wine glasses, handing one to her. She sipped it slowly, swirling the smooth, bittersweet drink in her mouth before swallowing. It was actually the first time she had had alcohol and she was wondering what effect it would have on her. While she drank her wine, Krillin grabbed two plates and started serving their dinner: roast beef with horseradish sauce, French bread, steamed vegetables, and a bunch of grapes.

She set her glass of wine to her side and took her plate. She didn't know when he learned to cook food like this, but it was delicious and savory. Maybe he had borrowed a recipe from Goku's wife. It didn't really matter to her. Food was not one of her basic necessities, but she liked it anyway, and she had to admit their little picnic was romantic. She ate slowly, meticulously savoring each flavor and the faint, pleasant burning sensation on her palate. When he asked if she wanted to have a picnic, she never would have guessed he would put so much effort into perfecting the atmosphere and the menu. She was grateful he did, though.

When they finished the main course, Krillin pulled two slices of apple pie out of the basket and gave one to her. The crust was a little burnt around the outer edge, but that only made his efforts more endearing to her. With a mumbled thanks, she took the pie and started eating it. It was slightly tart, but still tasty.

"It's good," she told him.

He looked up from his own slice of pie and almost looked relieved when he heard her compliment. Smiling, his cheeks flushed. "Thanks. I've never baked before…"

"You didn't have to."

His blush deepened. "Yeah, but I wanted to make it special for you. I know you like apple pie, and well…"

She found herself smiling again as she finished the last bite of her pie. For a moment she felt joy surging through her, making her heart pound in her chest. He did it for her. It flattered her that he would try so hard to please her, that he would work so hard to plan a romantic evening for them simply to commemorate six months of being a couple. Without emotion she couldn't really understand the sentimentality of it, but she wasn't going to complain. She liked being alone with Krillin, far from the other residents of Roshi's island. It was nice to be able to talk to him without being interrupted by someone else joining the conversation uninvited.

She put her dirty plate back in the basket and finished her wine while Krillin tidied up. She liked the warm sensation as the wine flowed to her stomach. After her first glass, she wasn't feeling strange in any way. She didn't think she was losing control of her mental capacities or losing inhibitions. Was it possible for an android to get drunk? Or at least tipsy? She shrugged her questions off and smiled brightly when Krillin sat back, bracing himself on his arms as he looked up at the indigo sky studded with stars.

As often as it was having to be suppressed, she knew she should be feeling utter joy on this date. Swiftly, in one smooth motion she sat on his lap and kissed him gently. "Thank you."

He grinned as he leaned forward, wrapping his arms around her waist. "For what?"

"Everything you've done for me." She smiled, then kissed him again. This time her lips lingered on his, allowing him to deepen the kiss. When they broke apart she smoothed his hair back affectionately. Was this what it was like to be happy?

It took him a few moments to gather his wits after their kiss. Then he shoved his hand in his pocket and hastily pulled something out, something small enough that it was completely enclosed in his hand. "I – uh, well – I wanted to ask you something."

"What is it?" Her interest was piqued. Obviously he had something for her and she liked receiving gifts. This one had to be particularly meaningful because he was clearly agitated, nervous. His hands trembled and he was having great difficulty forming coherent words.

"I – I know we've only, uh, been dating f-for six months, but… you see, well…" He paused, taking a deep, calming breath. "I hope – hope it's not t-too soon, but, would – would you marry me?" he finally blurted, opening the small box held in his hand to reveal a diamond ring.

Joy flooded through her in persistent waves, and for almost a whole minute she felt it. There were butterflies in her stomach as she held out her hand, allowing him to slip the gold ring onto her finger. The emotion was too much for the inhibitor to keep it in check until the initial strength wore off. Then she was dead inside, but she knew how she should behave based on the emotion that she should still be feeling.

"Yes," she whispered breathlessly. She admired the ring shining in the candlelight for a moment before throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly, not entirely fake tears of joy welling up in her eyes. She was no romantic, but she knew this was a pivotal moment in her life. The man, the one person in the whole world who could make her feel, asked her to marry him. How could she refuse? How could she deny the vivacity of joy before it was snuffed out? It was unlike anything she had ever felt before.

Unfortunately, though, the joy was eventually dulled to a point where she could no longer feel it. She was left empty inside as always, nothing but the memory of the feeling lingering. Still, she did not let her smile falter. She kissed his face all over and held her hand up to see her ring, as if making sure it was still there, that she wasn't dreaming. She laughed, expressing the emotion she wanted to feel again. The sound of her laughter wasn't so forced this time, as if it was rooted in the happiness buried deep within. Perhaps it was still there and she simply couldn't feel it. Perhaps the inhibitor didn't stop the chemicals in her organic brain from telling her body that it was overjoyed, that she had reason to laugh. That, or it was caused by a different sort of happiness she hadn't considered before. She decided not to think about it too much. It was not the time for introspection.

"I love you," he told her when she finally calmed down.

She felt it again, swelling inside before it was squelched. "I know."

He wasn't offended that she didn't return the sentiment. She never had before, and he didn't expect her to. She didn't need to say she loved him. Even if she didn't feel love as he did, she still obviously wanted to be with him or she wouldn't have agreed to marry him.

Deciding it was appropriate timing for the faked euphoria to wear off, she pushed him down on the ground and lay next to him with her head resting on his chest. She closed her eyes, losing herself to the pleasant sensation of his fingers running through her hair and the steady rhythm of his heart beating. After a few minutes of resting peacefully with him, she felt something again, something similar to the ecstasy she recently experienced but different, deeper. It was more complete and didn't fade as the emotion-inhibitor was unable to block it from her conscious awareness. Like the wine it seemed to warm her from the inside, spreading through her and bringing a smile to her lips. A small giggle bubbled up and escaped, its soft sound drifting through the air.

His hand stilled. "What's funny?"

"Nothing," she said. "I feel…good."

She couldn't quite explain the feeling. All she knew was that she liked it, that it filled her to overflowing and it didn't leave her. If anything it continued to grow. Similar to joy, but it wasn't joy. It wasn't a simple emotion, it was another of those feelings she couldn't describe. Deeper than emotion though it was rooted in emotion. More of a choice, a gut feeling, something. Whatever it was, the emotion-inhibitor couldn't touch it. She was free to feel, and this was a feeling she wouldn't mind experiencing every moment of every day for the rest of her life.

"Why did you tell me about Maron?" she asked. To her, it didn't seem like an appropriate story to relate right before asking another woman to marry him. She was wondering why, of all times, he brought it up on their six month anniversary, the night he proposed to her.

He shrugged, knowing she would feel the movement if she didn't see it. "I wanted you to know that I didn't propose to her because deep down I knew it wasn't right. She wasn't the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. It was different when I decided to ask you to marry me. I knew it was right. I could feel it. I might have loved her, but it wasn't a love that would last. I know I'll love you forever."

Joy, soon overcome by the other pleasant feeling that couldn't be extinguished. They didn't say much else for the rest of the night; there was no need. She was enveloped by a new feeling that was sort of a combination of other feelings she had in the past: gratitude and security. But it was more than that, much more. Something entirely its own, something wonderful. Sighing, she closed her eyes and fell asleep in his arms.

It didn't take long for them to plan their wedding. There was no need for a big ceremony considering neither of them had family and their circle of friends was rather small. Only two months after getting engaged they were wed on the beach of Roshi's island. She wore a simple white dress that fell just below her knees and he wore a plain black suit. The ceremony was short and sweet, and afterward they had a small party in Kame House with punch and cake. Nothing big, nothing extravagant.

Despite her vanity, she didn't mind not having an expensive wedding gown, her hair styled beautifully, or even new shoes. She didn't mind that they weren't going to go on an exciting honeymoon or that her wedding ring was bought at a pawn shop. No, her focus was set primarily on Krillin through the whole day. He wasn't the most handsome man on the planet, certainly not the richest, and he was considerably shorter than her. He cracked bad jokes, he lived with a pervert in a pink shack, and he was unlikely to ever hold a high-paying job. But even so, she felt joy multiple times on their wedding day and played it well after it disappeared. She didn't miss it when it was gone, though, because she had another feeling that was more persistent, that couldn't be taken away from her.

It was the same feeling that arose the night Krillin asked her to marry him, the same feeling that continued for the days and weeks between, and flourished on her wedding day. A happiness of sorts, something she finally realized was contentment. She was satisfied with her life and the direction it had taken. She was content to have few material items, little money, and a home shared with an old pervert so long as she was with Krillin. As an android, she had few needs. What needs she did have were met, so really she was living in great abundance. Yes, she enjoyed having lots of new, fashionable clothes, she liked having nice things, but none of that was too important to her. If she wanted, she could take, but she found she _didn't_ want.

He could never provide her with wealth and prestige, could never buy her a giant mansion and a new wardrobe every week. He could never buy her all the jewelry she fancied or all the shoes she thought were cute. There was no fame or fortune in her future, and she didn't care. She didn't want any of it, didn't need it. Why would she?

With her beauty, intelligence, and physical abilities, she probably could have slipped into a so-called better life. She could have married a tall man who held a steady job and brought home lots of money. She could have lived in a beautiful home in a city suburb, close to all the shopping malls she could visit every day of her life, maxing out a handful of credit cards with no worries of being able to pay the bills. If she wanted, she could have gotten herself a good job and earned her own money. She could have pampered herself with weekly manicures and pedicures, massages, and daring haircuts. But she didn't. And she didn't regret her decision to marry Krillin for even an instant.

It was on her wedding day, after all the guests had gone home, that she realized the depth of her feeling of contentment. She imagined herself in another life, tried to imagine what she would feel if she had another life. But instead of the warm feeling that filled her, she felt only cold emptiness. She would have always been striving for more material possessions, a higher status in society. It would be so tedious. The mere thought of such a life revolted her, so when she broke free from her thoughts she was overwhelmed anew with the satisfaction and knowledge that she had made the right choice. That was why she felt so content with her lot in life. It wasn't because she had settled for "good enough" when she could have had it so much better; it was because she chose the best option life could offer her.

She didn't think she could have ever felt anything if she were with anyone else. There was just something about Krillin. Even before she really knew him, he still made her feel. In many respects she didn't care to return to what she was before Dr. Gero turned her into an android. She didn't know what she was missing, and it was hard to want something she didn't know. Her memories were lost, but she couldn't miss them because she didn't know what they were. She didn't mind that her physical prowess was enhanced, that she was extremely powerful, agile, and swift. But she had spent quite a while wishing she could have her emotions back as more than passing waves.

That was before she found contentment, before the epiphany of her wedding night. She lay in bed, her arms and legs tangled with her husband's, her sweaty body held close to his. His breathing was slow and steady as he slept, a smile still on his face. This man could make her feel physical sensations, yes, but more importantly, real feelings that ran deeper than emotions. She didn't need him or anyone else to make her experience emotions. Anger, fear, sadness, joy. They were frivolous, there and gone. Even in humans without emotion-inhibiting devices implanted in their brains didn't dwell on emotions for long. Maybe longer than half a second, but sometimes not by much. So was she really so different from them? Was she as unnatural as she thought? Emotions were superficial, frivolous.

The feelings that mattered were the feelings that stayed, the feelings that weren't subject to life circumstances or extraneous stimuli such as a car breaking down, an ocean wave flooding the house, or facing an aggressive shark. Humans were quick to label the real feelings as emotions as well, not realizing the difference. A person can be angry but choose not to hate, can be sad but choose to be content. Real feelings have emotional bases, but they are not determined solely by the emotion. They are partially based in reason, choices, decisions. They are not whimsical, affected or changed by external forces.

And she chose to be content. To not care that she would probably be poor for her entire life, to not mind that she would likely be stuck living in Kame House forever. She chose to be content with what she had, knowing that Krillin would always provide for her. She was grateful for the security she brought him that gave her the peace of mind to allow herself to feel content. She wasn't happy because happiness is fleeting. Happiness was something she still didn't quite understand or care to have. She had what she needed and that was enough.

Smiling, she kissed her new husband's cheek and rested her head on his shoulder, fitting perfectly into the crook of his neck. She put her arms around him and let his slow breathing and strong heartbeat lull her to sleep. She would wake up the next day a married woman, ready to begin her new life as Krillin's wife. There was nothing else she could ask for. She wanted to be with him, wanted to stay with him. And she would. She wanted him to be with her, wanted him to stay with her. And he would. Forever.

…

I watch as he opens the side door of the plane and starts hauling the packages from our shopping trip out, dropping a few in the sand. With arms loaded, he goes to the front door and somehow manages to get it open, then disappears inside. I should help him. Instead, I lean against the plane and smile as I turn my face to the sky and close my eyes. A salty sea breeze rustles my hair and I tuck it back behind my ear.

Our married life hasn't been perfect. It isn't a fairy tale with a happily ever after. I never expected it to be. I wouldn't want it to be. It is through the trials of marriage that our relationship grows. When we are the lowest of lows I can still feel because I choose to be content despite our misery. Poverty can't take that away from me. It can't make me feel sadness or anger; even if the emotion-inhibitor wasn't in my brain, I would still choose to ignore such feelings and instead give myself over to the depths of contentment that I have surrounded myself in since becoming engaged to Krillin.

I open my eyes when I hear the door open and Krillin walks back to the plane to unload the rest of the boxes. He mutters something to himself and sighs, no doubt unhappy about the amount of purchases I made today. Does he think I am ungrateful, that I am not content with what I have? I hope he doesn't. In my defense, it has been a full year since we last went shopping. I waited until many of our clothes were threadbare – not to mention out of style – before dragging him to the mall to replace them. And it will probably be another year before we go and buy more. I like new things. I like having nice clothes, I like being in fashion. I like having pretty jewelry, a wide collection of shoes, and other accessories we can't afford. But I don't mind not having them because the desire to have them pales in comparison to the desire to be content with my husband.

It isn't always easy to be satisfied with what I have. There are many days when I have to remind myself more than once that I don't need anything I don't have, that anything I want is trivial and unnecessary. When the pervert offends me I have to make a conscious effort to stay content living on the island with him when it would be so much easier to hate him and try to convince Krillin to move somewhere else, somewhere more private. Other things bother me and make me want to give up on being content to try and make my life better. But that's ridiculous. How could it be better? I'm with Krillin, and that is enough for me.

I see the box on the top of the stack he is carrying into the house sliding off and walk over to Krillin as he struggles to get in the door. I catch the package as it falls and follow my husband inside and upstairs to our bedroom. He wipes his brow after setting them down on the floor next to the bed, tired from the long day of shopping and the balancing act of carrying a towering stack of boxes around. I don't mind that he doesn't have the energy to help me put away all our new clothes. He's already been a tremendous help to me, so I can take care of it without any trouble.

It isn't a perfect life, but it's my life and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I smile as he sits on the edge of the bed and watches me unfold the clothes and hang them up in the closet. He is so good to me that if I ever find myself wanting what I don't have I feel something like shame. It goes quickly after surfacing, so I can't be sure. Either way, I know that I have all I need and I could never find greater satisfaction anywhere else, with anyone else, or because of something else.

_A/N: I rather like this chapter... It's funny that some of you think it's hard to relate to Eighteen's lack of emotions. I actually started writing this because I felt like I was faking emotions all the time like she does. Anyway, there's one more chapter. Told you it would be a short story. Review!_

_Beta'd by lilpumpkingirl_


	5. Surprise and Love

Surprise and Love

Surprise (n.) - 1: a. an attack made without warning, b. a taking unawares; 2: something that surprises; 3: the state of being surprised: Astonishment

Love (n.) - 1: a (1). strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (2). attraction based on sexual desire: affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3). affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests; b. an assurance of love; 2: warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion; 3: a. the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration; b. a beloved person; 4: a. unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another, b. a person's adoration of God; 5: a god or personification of love; 6: an amorous episode: love affair; 7: the sexual embrace; 8: a score of zero (as in tennis)

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><p>I look down at the bundle in my arms and smile as I rock it gently. I still can hardly believe it's true, that this beautiful thing is mine. My eyes shift to the door when I hear it slowly open, nodding to my husband when he silently inquires if he can enter. I shift her in my arms smoothly so as not to wake her and breathe a contented sigh. I never understood what anyone meant when they talked of miracles, but I understand now. I brush back the single blonde curl on her forehead, memorizing the perfect softness of her skin as my fingers brush against her face. I have already heard the same question a dozen times from all of his friends: "How?"<p>

I shrug a little even now as I think about it. I don't quite understand why Dr. Gero left certain "unnecessary" elements of my human body intact. He took my emotions yet left me with the ability to bear children. Either he wasn't finished with me or he was sick in a way I don't even want to begin to guess. It doesn't matter anyway. As much as I hate him, I am grateful that he let me have this one gift. Every time I hear a soft coo or look at her clear blue eyes I am overwhelmed by so many feelings at once I can hardly make sense of them. Some quickly disappear, but others last. Others are so much more than emotions. Yes, I know if I could I would feel unbound joy, but why bother missing it when I have feelings that run so much deeper? I have given up the desire to feel all that normal humans feel. I don't need to. I think, in a way, I am better off than humans.

I touch the palm of her tiny hand with the tip of my finger and my smile broadens when her little fingers wrap around mine. So small, weak, dependent. I am insatiably curious about this creature, this baby, my daughter. Her name is Marron. Krillin, at first, didn't like the name I chose, but then I explained it to him and he agreed: Yes, she has the same name as his first girlfriend (though spelled differently) as a reminder of our devotion to one another. Perhaps it would seem strange to others, but then wasn't it strange that he told me the story of Maron the night he asked me to marry him? He loved her once, but not enough to marry her, but he loved me enough to marry me, and he still loves me. The love he has for me is greater than the love he had for Maron, and I never want him to forget that. So our daughter is named after her. Because, I believe, without Krillin's history with her I may never have gotten him.

I lean back against the headboard and hold her close to my chest. Every breath she takes ignites this feeling all over again. Though it never fades, it still grows until I think it will consume me. It isn't a strange feeling to me, but it is different in a way I can't quite explain. I first began to feel it shortly after I married Krillin. I felt it for him, and it was a wonderful feeling that blossomed in my heart and flourished. It never dims with time and it seems to grow even stronger after quarrels. Now I have the same feeling for my daughter, though it isn't exactly the same. How can I put it into words? It is too deep, too pure for words. Humans have tried in vain to sum it up in a single term: love. Though I believe it to be grossly inadequate, a misnomer to the complexity of it, this is what I feel because of my family.

…

She sat on the bathroom floor hugging the toilet bowl. Strands of blonde hair stuck to her sweaty forehead, and for once she didn't bother to brush them back from her face. Miserable was the best word she could think of describe her current state. Never before had she ever been sick, not like this. How could an android get sick? She thought she was immune to any biological pathogen that affected humans. Not even able to recognize the sensation of nausea, she ended up regurgitating her whole breakfast on the floor of the living room. Krillin was downstairs cleaning it up as she groaned in discomfort, the sound echoing mockingly through the small room.

_ Her sickness came as a surprise, not only because she didn't realize what it was until it struck full-force, but because she didn't think it was even possible. The surprise was almost immediately quelled, but that didn't stop her from sensing it for that brief time. Her eyes widened as she wiped her mouth with her shirt sleeve. It was almost like fear, but not quite. Just…surprise. Shock. Astonishment. Of course there was no reason to believe the human part of her anatomy couldn't still be affected by normal illnesses, but she always considered herself above such maladies. After all, she was designed to be superhuman in almost every way physically._

_ Krillin jumped out of the chair he had been sitting in when he heard her retch. "Babe! Are you okay? Oh…" He grimaced a little but quickly hid it when he saw what happened._

_ "Now that is just disgusting," Oolong commented without even turning from the television._

_ "What the hell was that?" she muttered, more to herself than the others in the room._

_ "It's fine, hon," Krillin said as he took her arm and started guiding her to the stairs. "Why don't you go upstairs and rest? And if you feel sick again try to get to the bathroom before anything else, er, comes out. I'll get this cleaned up and then I'll come check on you, okay?"_

The nausea hadn't subsided in the few minutes since then. If anything, it became worse. She knew how pathetic she had to look clinging to the toilet, but the cold porcelain felt good against her burning skin and the tile floor was equally soothing. She tried to hide her face when Krillin walked into the bathroom carrying a small glass of cold water. He set it on the floor next to her for her to drink while he took a washcloth from the cabinet and soaked it in cool water. Kneeling near her, he reached out and dabbed at her blotchy face with the cloth until he earned a quiet sigh of relief.

"I'm sorry," she murmured, her words almost lost as she turned away from him.

He held back a chuckle as he continued wiping the sweat from her face and neck. "Nothing to be sorry about, hon. Not like you could do anything about it. Sometimes it just…happens."

"To an android?" she scoffed.

"I guess so." He shrugged and picked up the untouched glass of water, pushing it into her hand to encourage her to drink. "How do you feel now?"

"Like hell." She finally took the water and took a short sip. She had barely swallowed when her stomach rebelled as she retched whatever contents remained in her stomach from the last time into the toilet. She cringed. This wasn't supposed to be happening. The flare of surprise fired again before the emotion-inhibitor extinguished it. She decided to fake it. "I don't know what's going on! I shouldn't be sick!"

"It's okay, really –"

"How do you know?" she cut him off. Her breathing quickened and she felt her heart beating faster. "What if only something really bad affects me? What if I've infected you?"

While she flushed the toilet, Krillin moved over to sit with his back leaning against the door. "I know you're a little surprised, babe, but I don't think it's anything to get excited about. Sometimes people get sick. It's no big deal."

"Maybe." She spat the bitter taste out of her mouth and stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans. "But maybe you should get me a doctor appointment or something."

"What doctor?" he asked. "I don't know any doctors that would know how to treat an android."

She opened her mouth to fire off a snide retort, but she was left with her mouth hanging open. Surprise again? It passed and she rolled her eyes. "Maybe no medical doctors, but what about your friend Bulma or her father?"

"I didn't even think of them," he admitted as he, too, stood up. "Right, I'll go call Bulma. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need me to get you anything?"

"I'll be fine." She waved her hand dismissively. "I'm going to go lie down."

Nodding, he opened the door and left the bathroom to go downstairs to make the call. She watched his receding form as he descended the steps and, despite the lingering nausea and growing headache, smiled. She finally pushed her hair back behind her ear as she opened the door to their bedroom and went inside, immediately collapsing on the bed and burying her face in the pillow. Not for the first time she was reminded of how fortunate she was to have such a kind, considerate husband. Her heart swelled with love as she recalled his concern and the loving way he took care of her in such a simple manner.

She was still new to the feeling of love, having only really felt it for a few weeks. A little over two months, actually. But it had become familiar as it was almost constant and it seemed richer and more vibrant every day. It was more than the culmination of gratitude, security, and contentment. It was the most real, complete feeling she had and she couldn't imagine anything greater. That was why she was surprised – yes, she felt surprise often these days – that it was always growing. She didn't think there was much room for growth, but it consistently proved her wrong. But in this case, she didn't mind being wrong. It was fulfilling and marvelous and intoxicating.

Momentarily broken out of her thoughts by another vicious wave of nausea, she groaned again and sat up in bed, holding her head in her hands, not yet sure if she needed to run to the bathroom or if the danger would pass. After a few seconds it subsided, so she lay down again, this time on her back so she could stare up at the ceiling, watching the morning light dancing through the lacy curtains. It was mesmerizing enough that she was taken unawares when their door opened and Krillin hurried in. Startled, she jumped to her feet, heart racing. But the surprise fled and she was left standing in a defensive fighting stance with no feeling of being threatened. Coughing, she straightened and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Did you talk to her?" she asked nonchalantly.

"Yeah, she said she has time to see you this afternoon." He smiled and sat on the edge of the bed. "She almost sounded like a real doctor. But I think if anyone can figure out what's wrong with you, even if it is some kind of normal sickness, she can."

She sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. He raised his hand and started stroking her sweat-soaked hair, breathing soft words of comfort to his wife. She closed her eyes and gave herself over to his consolation. Within minutes she fell asleep though she hadn't felt very tired. She was wrapped in his love and for a time her ailment was eased and all but forgotten.

With a yawn she woke up from her nap, glancing at the clock on the nightstand and jolting fully awake when she saw that it was after noon. Kicking off the blanket she didn't remember pulling over herself, she clambered out of bed and rushed out of the bedroom to find her husband. He should have been with her. Why was she so shocked when he wasn't? Either way, it made her want to find him right away. She came to a sudden stop at the foot of the stairs when she saw him setting the table in the kitchen.

He looked through the kitchen door when he heard her soft steps coming down the stairs. "Hey, babe! Feeling better?"

She forced a small smile and nodded as she crossed the living room and came into the kitchen. Oolong and Roshi were already seated at the table, but she promptly ignored them as she took her own seat as far from them as she could get without leaving the room. She watched as Krillin carried a steaming pot of soup to the table and set it down, then started ladling it out into bowls.

"Soup?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Krillin blushed lightly. "Yeah. I thought maybe it would help you feel better."

Both golden eyebrows arched up. A flash of surprise dashed through her mind. "You made soup for me?" It wasn't like it should surprise her. It wasn't the first time he cooked with her preferences in mind. Still, it was touching – and a tad shocking – that he would take the trouble to prepare soup because she wasn't feeling well that morning. The surprise was gone, but she was still able to feel as the love that constantly burned in her chest felt like it was exploding. This soup, such a simple meal and a simple gesture, was a token of his love. It was beautiful.

"We need to get going soon if we're going to make it to West City this afternoon," he mentioned as he finished filling his own bowl with soup.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure I need to go. I feel fine now."

He shook his head. "It would be better to make sure you're not still sick. If you are, I want you to get treated for it so it'll go away faster."

Smiling, she started eating her soup. Leave it to him to think about her first. He didn't even seem to care that she might be contagious and he might get sick as well. But then, wasn't she the same way? She didn't honestly want to go to see any doctor about an illness she may or may not have, but she, too, wanted a treatment if she was sick so she wouldn't spread it to her beloved husband.

It was mid-afternoon when their plane touched down in the back yard of the Capsule Corporation compound. She insisted they go without it, but he wanted to take it in case she started not feeling well again. When they got out of the plane, they saw Bulma waiting for them at the back door waving them inside.

"Hey, guys," she said once they reached the door. "So tell me what's wrong."

Krillin nodded reassuringly to his wife when she cast him an uncertain glance. Swallowing, she told Bulma, "This morning I got sick. I threw up a couple times, but I felt better this afternoon after taking a nap."

"Hm." Bulma led them to the infirmary wing of the compound and showed them into a small room with sterile white walls, one window overlooking the tennis courts, and an examination table. She indicated her patient should sit on the table while she washed her hands at the sink. "You haven't felt sick before today?"

"No."

"And you felt better after this morning," Bulma stated as she pulled on gloves and picked up a thermometer. She went over to the exam table and stuck it in her blonde patient's mouth. "I actually don't know what your regular temperature is. Do you know?"

Krillin spoke for his wife since she currently had a thermometer stuck under her tongue. "I think it's pretty much the same as a human." His wife confirmed this with a single, curt nod.

Bulma took the thermometer out and read it aloud, "It says 98.8, which may be normal for you. If it's a fever, it's not too high, anyway." Frowning, she appraised her patient; she had an idea of what was going on, but there was only one way to be sure. She went back to the counter and picked up a small plastic cup and handed it to the other woman. "Here. I need you to pee in this cup. There's a bathroom two doors to the left."

Pale blue eyes widened. "You want me to what?"

Bulma giggled a little as she pulled her gloves off. "Look, I think I know what's 'wrong' with you, but I need to be sure. And the only way to know is to test a urine sample. So go on, I don't have all day."

Krillin flinched under the patient's glare. "It'll be fine, babe."

She grunted as she slid off the examination table and left the room, the cup nearly crumpled in her hand. She grumbled to herself the whole way to the restroom, turning the cup over in her hand as she paced back and forth in the confining room. How absurd! Urinating in a cup. For what? Didn't she have the right to know? With a sigh, she decided to go along with it. If Krillin said it would be fine, she knew she would be fine. No harm done. Humiliation, yes. But she would get over it. She barely felt it anyway.

Bulma and Krillin were chatting amiably when she came back into the room holding the cup filled a third of the way with urine. She was extremely grateful in that moment that she couldn't feel emotion much at all as she handed it over to her so-called doctor.

"Thanks," Bulma said. She set the cup on the table and pulled some small device out of a drawer and stuck it in the cup. "I know this isn't how it's usually done, but it worked for me, so…"

"What worked?" Krillin asked nervously.

Bulma held up her finger as she pulled the device out of the cup and held it up. Grinning, she turned around and held it out for her blonde patient to see first. "It's just as I thought."

One blonde brow rose. "What does it mean?"

"It means you're pregnant. Congratulations!"

If the surprise had lasted any longer, she would have fallen off the examination table. Even as short-lived as it was, it left her heart hammering in her chest and she felt like she couldn't breathe. She silently mouthed words, unable to get her voice to work for a minute. Krillin wasn't much better, gaping like a dead fish on the other side of the room, his eyes glued to the device still held in Bulma's outstretched hand.

"P-pregnant?" she finally squeaked.

Bulma nodded enthusiastically as she threw the pregnancy test in the biohazard container. She went to the sink and washed her hand, all the while blabbering happily about the joys of motherhood and how she had been really surprised when she found out she was pregnant with Trunks. The married couple in the room exchanged glances, one still in shock, the other recovered but acting out the astonishment she should have felt.

"Oh." She swooned a little, raising her hand to her forehead.

"I'm no obstetrician, but your baby's probably due in June," Bulma said. "If you want a better estimate I can refer you to my doctor. He was great and he's seen some weird things, like a half-saiyan, half-human baby, for one. I'm sure he can work with an android as long as you have all the right parts, which you apparently do."

"Great," Krillin said as if in a daze. "That would be great, Bulma."

Chuckling, Bulma went over and hugged her friend. "You're going to be a great dad, buddy." Letting him go, she turned and hugged her patient, taking the blonde by surprise once again. "And I'm so happy for you. I really am. I know it's kind of scary right now, but you'll see what I mean when I say it's the greatest thing to ever have happen. And seriously, you need to go to a doctor regularly, especially since you might have complications because of your…uh, your modifications."

She wasn't scared, and she wasn't even surprised anymore. Her hand gravitated toward her belly seemingly on its own accord as she looked down, wondering how a new person could grow inside. She turned her calm gaze to her husband and shook her head when she saw he still hadn't recovered from the initial shock. She agreed with Bulma as she watched him finally take a deep breath, then grin broadly; he was going to be a great father just as he was a great husband. Love was all the man had to give anyone, and more to his family than anyone else. And she reciprocated that love. She hopped off the exam table and embraced him, kissing his forehead.

She was filled to the brim with love for her husband, the father of her child. He had already given her so much: a home, feelings, humanity, stability, love. But now he had given her something even greater, something unbelievable. A child. She was going to be a mother. If she had been surprised to find she could be sick despite being an android, it was even more surprising to learn that she – an android – could bear a child. Bulma was right, though. She would need to take extra caution in her pregnancy. There was no telling what complication could arise due to the 'modifications' Dr. Gero made to her body.

The mere thought of anything happening to her unborn child made her heart stop, giving her a horrible heavy feeling in her chest. She couldn't allow anything to happen to her child! She would sooner die than let anything harm him or her. She rubbed her belly gently, fondly. That was the moment her love for her child took root. She didn't know if it would be a boy or a girl, didn't know if it would be healthy or not, didn't know anything about her baby. Not yet. But she felt her heart bursting with a love so great it made every other feeling she ever experienced pale in comparison. It was almost greater than her love for Krillin. Almost. She inhaled deeply, confused when she felt tears pricking her eyes. Tears of joy? Impossible, she didn't feel joy. But she did feel love. An indescribable, overpowering love. They were tears of love, pouring from a well of feeling so deep she could never reach the bottom, a well that would never run dry.

The couple left Capsule Corporation shortly after, making sure to get the contact information for Bulma's doctor before going home. Krillin chattered incessantly, thrilled and scared and still shocked all at the same time. He wanted to tell all of his friends right away, wanted to start decorating her old bedroom as a nursery, wanted to let the whole world know he was going to be a father. She was more relaxed, choosing to sit quietly listening to him, a contented smile on her lips and her hands resting protectively on her belly. She was surrounded by his love, and she knew their baby would be too. And that only made her love him even more. Love. It was so strange and so powerful. It could bring an android to tears and shred her calculating rationality in an instant. She would do anything for its sake. It was the one feeling she needed that truly restored her sense of humanity. She was empowered by the strongest force in the universe.

As they flew home, she watched her husband from the corner of her eye. What would her life be without him? She couldn't begin to imagine, and she didn't want to try. Her bottom lip trembled as hot tears stung her eyes again. Ridiculous! But so right. A single tear fell, the tiny drop trickling down her cheek and dripping from her chin, landing on the back of her hand. She had everything now. The man she wanted to stay with her was going to be with her forever, and together they were starting a new life together, creating a new life built on their love.

…

I feel tears building in my eyes as I gaze at my beautiful baby daughter. I cannot look at her without feeling love for her growing, building, taking control of me. Only a year ago I could not have said what it meant to feel love. I had no concept of what love is. But now, now it is the only thing I need, the only feeling I crave. It is maddening, but it is so perfect in its purity. I am filled with the need to protect her, to care for her, shower her with affection and adoration every moment of her life.

Next to me, my husband moves closer, touching her cheek with the back of his hand, stroking her with a tenderness even I have never seen before. I can tell he feels it too. This love. Slowly, carefully, I hand her over to him and he lovingly wraps his arms around her to hold her against his chest. She coos in her sleep and reaches her hand out, balling his shirt in her tiny fist. Why is it that everything she does makes my love for her so much stronger? I can't stop smiling when I see her. I can't think of anything but how much I love her. She's perfect. I know every parent says the same thing about their children, but it's true. Marron is perfect.

He rocks her slowly, lulling her into a deeper sleep until her little mouth forms an 'o' as the last ounce of tension leaves her. She looks like an angel sleeping in his arms. I lean over and kiss his cheek. He turns to face me and I kiss him on the lips this time. Softly, tenderly, lovingly. I know we won't have a happily-ever-after like in the fairy tales, and I know that even with our mutual love we will have rough patches in the future. I know that Marron will not always love us in return, but I know that no matter what she does we will never stop loving her. She is our world now, our everything. Before I was married, I never knew how satisfying it could be to give everything I have to another as the ultimate act of love. But now it is all I want to do, every day. Give myself to them. Love them.

I rest my head on his shoulder and put my arm around his waist. I feel so tired and so comfortable. And here, with my family, sleep comes easily. I listen to her soft breathing and feel his warmth against me, and I feel blanketed in their love. The last thing I am aware of before drifting into sleep is the burning love pulsing through my body, the feeling that completes me. I feel whole, as if my human half has finally been melded with my android half. Grateful, secure, content, full of love, I am bursting with life.

_A/N: I was considering adding another chapter after this, but it would have given the story a sad ending and I kind of like the feel-good ending here. So, there it is, a short story about Krillin and Eighteen's strange relationship. Hope you enjoyed. As always, review!_

_Beta'd by lilpumpkingirl_


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